when i was like 5 my friend told me that a prostitute was someone who sold ice cream so for TWO YEARS I TOLD EVERYONE THAT I WANTED TO BE A PROSTITUTE
NO ONE FUCKING CORRECTED ME
today in English class my professor started talking about abortion and all the guys in class started having a debate on whether girls should be allowed to get an abortion or not and no girls were talking so i got mad and yelled “NO VAGINA NO FUCKING OPINION” and everything got really quiet and the professor just said “discussion closed, next topic”
i offer you my highest respects, my liege
- Me: Why do you want to go? You hate it when I talk about of mice and men or hear their music.
- Brother: I wanted to thank them for something.
- Me: What for?
- Brother: For making the scars on your wrist disappear.